Who We Are


We are not the stereotype of the typical Republican. We drink. We smoke. We cuss. We like The Simpsons and Family Guy, but we love South Park. We are Goldwater Girls Gone Wild and cynical punk rockers and drunk frat boys and bong-toting Burkeans and chain smoking blue collars and right-wing ravers and conservative clubbers and postmodern iconoclasts and Wall Streeters partying like it's 1982. We are metalheads and deadheads and parrotheads. Our heroes include Johnny Ramone, Jonah Goldberg, Greg Gutfeld, Hank Jr., P.J. O'Rourke, Alice Cooper, Gene Simmons, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry, Ted Nugent, Neal Peart of Rush, Kid Rock, Andy Levy, Andrew Breitbart and Frank Kelly Rich. We love Ronald Reagan and PBR with straight shots, and Margaret Thatcher and fine cigars with Scotch. We often lean more libertarian than traditional conservative on certain issues, and would love to kick the ass of anyone wearing a Che t-shirt. We care a helluva lot more about a candidate's tax policy than past drug use. We are well informed on pop culture, the latest music, and Milton Friedman. We read National Review, Ayn Rand, and The Onion. Our religious beliefs range from devout to atheist, but we are more likely to be nursing a hangover on Sunday morning than in a church pew. And we are getting damn tired of people exclaiming, "YOU'RE a Republican?!?!"

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Congress needs to sober up and get off the train.

"Riding that train - high on cocaine. Casey Jones you better watch your speed."

These words by Robert Hunter, made famous by [the] Grateful Dead have been ringing in my head for weeks as I struggle to understand how Congress lost it's way. Rather than eying the tracks for trouble, they've jumped on board and driven it right down our throats.

There was a time in our nation's history when duties of the US Congress were clearly defined and limited. Ditto for the executive branch. But decades of action - completely unimagined by the framers of the constitution - have built on the precedence of previous and ill-gotten entitlements to power.

It seems that every time the idea pops up that "Somebody ought to ..." the US Congress or President steps in and assumes control - whether it's appropriate or not. Now it seems every action they take is geared to "save" us from their snowballing failures.

So what is Congress supposed to do? Protect us. Not "save" us, but protect us.

Protect us from countries who want to destroy us. Protect us from hurting each other by defining boundaries of acceptable behavior. Protect us by providing oversight and wisdom in complex situations that trickle down to the general population.

Instead, Congress has been indulging us like the parent of a teenager with a princess complex. Anything you want, honey. Crash your car? We'll get you a new one. Credit cards maxed? We'll pay your balance. Just love us in return.

The princess gets what she wants without sacrifice or consequence. Sound planning and lessons in sustainability are replaced with easy outs and instant gratification. When she gets into trouble, she bats her eyelashes and someone comes to her rescue.

The story ends with the princess divorced and over-forty, decorated in worn-out Jimmy Chu pumps and a blanket of debt. No inheritance will bail her out - the money was spent it in her teenage years.

Congress needs to stop indulging the princess. Teach her the hard, uncomfortable lessons that prepare her to interact with the world. Cut up her credit cards. Stop saving her from the consequences she's earned.

Congress has been drunk on the affections gained by enabling the princess - which naturally will erode from gratitude into a sense of entitlement. Now that those affections are gone (a 10% approval rating for Congress should be suitable proof) Congress needs to deliver some tough love.

The bottom line: Congress has no right or duty to buy up private paper. The market will adjust dramatically, but we will recover. And just like a grumbling teenager who just heard "no" from her parents for the first time - we'll get dramatic and freak out. But that's what needs to happen if we're going to be allowed to grow up.

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The Edwards Report, the right wing Onion rip-off.