Who We Are


We are not the stereotype of the typical Republican. We drink. We smoke. We cuss. We like The Simpsons and Family Guy, but we love South Park. We are Goldwater Girls Gone Wild and cynical punk rockers and drunk frat boys and bong-toting Burkeans and chain smoking blue collars and right-wing ravers and conservative clubbers and postmodern iconoclasts and Wall Streeters partying like it's 1982. We are metalheads and deadheads and parrotheads. Our heroes include Johnny Ramone, Jonah Goldberg, Greg Gutfeld, Hank Jr., P.J. O'Rourke, Alice Cooper, Gene Simmons, Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry, Ted Nugent, Neal Peart of Rush, Kid Rock, Andy Levy, Andrew Breitbart and Frank Kelly Rich. We love Ronald Reagan and PBR with straight shots, and Margaret Thatcher and fine cigars with Scotch. We often lean more libertarian than traditional conservative on certain issues, and would love to kick the ass of anyone wearing a Che t-shirt. We care a helluva lot more about a candidate's tax policy than past drug use. We are well informed on pop culture, the latest music, and Milton Friedman. We read National Review, Ayn Rand, and The Onion. Our religious beliefs range from devout to atheist, but we are more likely to be nursing a hangover on Sunday morning than in a church pew. And we are getting damn tired of people exclaiming, "YOU'RE a Republican?!?!"

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Let's Do It by the Numbers


It seems so much is about simple numbers lately. The price of gas, the amount of the next federal bailout handout, John McCain's age (Whoa! Nellie!). So it's time we look at a few numbers that matter.

Speaking of the economy, it seems our "friends" (I do type that with a sniveling sneer) on the left wing of this free bird we call America seem to be following Senator Obama's lead and are reading a lot of Leninist literature lately. In typical mob-mentality fashion they are bloodthirstily screaming for the rape of the rich who are unfairly hoarding the fruits of their years of gainful, diligent employment and ingenuity (um, I tried to write that with a straight face. Let's just assume that statement is true. Come on, pretty please? With a cherry of credibility on top?) And so they demand the taxation of the rich. That is, the increased taxation of the top earners in this great nation. They claim the rich are not taxed enough.

Shall we take a peek into the Swirling Kaleidoscope of Truth? a.k.a. the .jpg image? The evil rich are not paying enough taxes when they are paying nearly 90% of the nation's taxes. The truth is, in fact, that the top 1% of income earners in the U.S. pay the same amount in federal taxes as the bottom 95% (source). Leave the tax issue alone. We pay enough taxes--and if you want more tax income for government programs, that income is going to come from the lower tax bracket folks. Just look at the data again. So let that old dog just die. And quick kicking him.

And how about the recent report that came out about our well-to-do friends in Congress? I'm wondering how Mr. Kennedy ended up in the #9 slot. John Kerry was #1. Take a look at the roster of our lawmakers and wonder at how they can sympathize with the common folk. Tax holidays? Who needs 'em? In fact, those sorry civilians surely can cough up an extra $700 billion to give to our friends--er, irresponsible big banks and lenders--you know, to save our country and whatnot. God Bless America and whatever.

And that's our first session of By the Numbers. Thanks for counting with me.
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The Edwards Report, the right wing Onion rip-off.

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